Monday, October 31, 2005

p2p - First Love

Payal. What can I say about her? What is there that I could describe and still capture the essence of her? She is the white flower, untouched by the frost – unbent, and coldly awaiting the first of the sun's rays to bring her to full vibrant blooming life. Rarely does she laugh, but when she does, it is the refreshing dew on the morning rose.

Slender pale beauty that she is, she carries herself like a paragon of virtue. Whenever I picture her, her head is bowed, but her back is straight. She is… messaging. She makes me sick with envy, for she has everything.

For I am not her lover, I am her rival.

And she has my loyalty before all else.

It falls upon me to write of her love to the love of my life – and I must do it. There is something that people call friendship, and they tell me we have it. This sombre tone does not suit me, but these reflections cannot be made in another. The man who said no, and rose several notches in my estimation –so much so that I would take him as he is, if he but speaks – it is to him that I must speak, beseech, beg, all on her behalf when I would do it on mine, and may whatever God looks on give me the strength to go through with it and commit to it all the resources I have available to me.

Though he said nay the last time, I know this time will be different; my plans for his ensnarement with Payal were quite comprehensive. I have enough confidence to say it will work, but oh, how I wish I would be wrong! These words are not to be spoken, and I will commit them to this slender volume and then perhaps burn them. The knowledge that my protest has been recorded somewhere soothes me, and helps me do what I must. The world is cruel that I must… in the name of friendship… give up the one man I have loved, and perhaps always will.

It is a sense of rebellion, and aye, a touch of self-pity that I will close this book and walk out of that door…
The other p2p stories:


Blogger S said...

well....very expressive stuff and yes....had to read it thrice before i could grasp it :P :)
ovckzdxw??? i kno you've got crazy in ur name...but this is heights in word verification!! spare me!! :O

5:09 am GMT-8  
Blogger Camphor said...

S, I had no idea is was something that needed to be read thrice to be grasped. I just wrote it. Thanks for reading it anyway.

lol, maybe the word verification actaully works for me, because I've got 'ifgetzt' which makes no sense... unless I'm determined to make it make sense.

5:19 am GMT-8  
Blogger the Monk said...

that was beautifully written...seriously...

9:56 am GMT-8  
Blogger Leon said...

I have a question.. what does the ..wrt? next to my name on your blogroll mean? (sheepish)

2:32 pm GMT-8  
Blogger Camphor said...

the Monk ~ thank you! :D
Leon ~ replied on your blog.

5:41 pm GMT-8  
Blogger visithra said...

Happy Deepavalli dear ;)

6:03 pm GMT-8  
Blogger Kini said...

Good work... very poignant. Though for some reason I seem to have lost the ability to empathize with a 14 year old's idea of eternal love. Cynicism has so deeply entrenched itself in me that I find the idea of a crush rather inane. That doesnt mean I wouldnt succumb to its charms. It just means that I'll bitch about how kiddish it is until I do.

Bitching about life and teenage crushes not only makes me look pseudo-intellectual it serves a much higher purpose, it gives a bored holier-than-thou engineer something to do.

But on a more serious note, a couple of those similies in the first paragraph were really delicate, well done. :D

7:06 pm GMT-8  
Blogger Camphor said...

visithra ~ thank you!

kini ~ join the club. I have never really believed in that eternal love or crushes, but I've seen girls in the throes of it anyway... and perhaps more than my share. That doesnt mean I wouldnt succumb to its charms. It just means that I'll bitch about how kiddish it is until I do. LOL. Pseude man, pseude. On a more serious note, thank you!

7:31 pm GMT-8  
Blogger Noetic License said...

Based on a true experience or something?

8:15 pm GMT-8  
Blogger Leon said...

Hey.. no probs.. I was just curious if you meant the normal wrt or if it meant something else in the blogosphere! :p

Btw.. Happy Diwali.. (It's still Nov 1st here.. :-) )

8:27 pm GMT-8  
Blogger S said...

my mom read your blog :) thought this was brilliant....her exact words " beautiful" :)) oh mom's as "romantic" as they make 'em!! :D

9:39 pm GMT-8  
Blogger Camphor said...

noetic license ~ nope, never done that myself. BUT. It's based heavily on people I know. If I exaggerated my traits, and my friends traits, and put us int aht circumstance... I'd get the stories of p2p.

Leon ~ lol, well, you blog is "With greatest possible respect". My first thought was, to what? Happy Diwali to you too!

s ~ really? I'm flattered your mom liked it, and that you actally showed it to her. I think (and I'm quoting a friend here as well) everyone is a romantic at heart...

10:53 pm GMT-8  
Blogger Wriju said...

Nice work.
Ekta Kapoor would love it :-)

3:47 am GMT-8  
Blogger Camphor said...

Probably, but I'll take that as a compliment. As a rule, Ekta Kapoor is one of my least favourite persons.. :D Thanks for dropping by, wriju

4:10 am GMT-8  
Blogger FM said...

Happy Diwali to you and all you guys in india.

with regards
From Pakistan :)

4:23 am GMT-8  
Blogger Camphor said...

Thank you, FM. Eid Mubarak!

4:45 am GMT-8  
Blogger Gounder Brownie said...

Men Go Away. Women Go Away. Brownies Stay. Zindabad.

7:27 am GMT-8  
Blogger Camphor said...

Wow, what a Browni-sh statement!

All hail the only Blogging Brownie! :P

7:56 am GMT-8  
Blogger Hellbrandt Grimm said...

Here. Read it. Loved it!

You write so well! Anyone ever told you that? Yes? Well, no matter, I say it again. :D

10:31 pm GMT-8  

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